Lollipops and Poetry...

Cold Weather

2006-04-24T20:32:00.000+01:00

Went really cold today. Can't believe it after the sunshine of yesterday. Always great to see fit young birds walking around in the sunshine, (although it can be distracting while I'm on the patrol). We're supposed to devote our attention to the traffic and the kids. I do try anyway.

Wearing tights under the trousers is a good way of keeping the legs warm on days like today. Doreen's tights fit me as she's got quite fat thighs. I wore hold-ups today as she doesn't seem to have any tights in the drawer. They don't "hold up" very well with me so I had to use one of her sussy belts too. (She has a wide waist). I put socks over the top to hide the patterns.

Entered a poetry competition on a website. The theme is the Wild West. My poetry is normally more of a romantic nature so this makes an interesting change. This was my first entry:

An Indian chief called Stiff Breezy
In a wigwam had breakfasts quite greasy
He drank so much tea
That he needed to pee
But to pee in a teepee's not easy

Having a few beers tonight. Looking forward to it.

Another of my Poems...

2006-04-22T11:52:00.000+01:00

This one hasn't got a title, so I've called it "Untitled". Hope that doesn't sound overtly pretentious! (Actually, "overtly pretentious" sounds a bit overtly pretentious).

Untitled

Eric Postlethwaite's pet budgie
Apparently went far.
When he chose to clean its cage
But left the door ajar.
It flew out through the window,
Then on into the night,
Where a wintry frost descended
To seal the poor thing's plight.
They found it on the lawn next day
The creature lies there still.
Now Eric grieves, consoled by just
The stack he's saved on Trill.

Incidentally, I realise I haven't added to this Blog for yonks. Trouble is I'd lost the password, and when I'd remembered that, I'd forgotten my user name. Doreen found it scribbled in a mens mag of mine. I'd forgotten that was where I'd hidden it. I'd forgotten where I'd hidden the magazine too actually.

Lollipop Latest

2006-01-25T09:50:00.000Z

Just got in from this morning's shift. Not too cold, and fairly uneventful. Almost walked out in front of a bus, but it missed us. Bit of a cloudy head from last night.

Didn't write anything yesterday. Wasn't in a very good mood and couldn't be bothered if I'm honest. I'll probably make this an occasional blog rather than an every day diary. We'll see.

Foot still itching. Going to put that Daktarin on tonight, after my bath.

Was cold this afternoon!

2006-01-23T17:42:00.000Z

Still warming up from doing the patrol this afternoon. Really cold. Much prefer the job in Summer as you'd expect.

The ginger-haired kid got me riled again. Waited until I'd walked into the middle of the road, stopping the traffic, then buggered off without crossing! Made me look a complete prat. I hate the kids that play up. Tempted to whack 'em with the pole at times...

Q.3. How much do you get paid?

2006-01-23T13:58:00.000Z

Someone asked the question. "How much do you get paid?". Bit personal that. I get between £5.50 and £6.00 an hour. I go home between stints, obviously. Not really any perks, apart from the uniform. Women like a man in uniform.

Last Night's Snooker Final

2006-01-23T11:46:00.000Z

I'm not really a snooker fan. They've got a table down at the club but I'm barred from using it anyway. Only ripped the baize once, and that was accidental.

Anyway, I'd switched the telly over to watch Match of the Day, but the snooker was running late. Got quite exciting and went to the final frame. Well done Higgins. Ended up being a late night and I had a few more cans than usual. Still got up in time for duty this morning, but had a bad head once again... In addition to that, my toes were itching something chronic, the thong was cutting into my thighs (I'm trying it for a full day). Also a ginger haired kid with big ears was winding me up.

End of the weekend

2006-01-22T13:58:00.000Z

Work tomorrow! :-(

Good things about being an L.P.M. (Likes): Fresh air. Friendly mums. Getting paid.

Hates: Traffic fumes. Annoying kids. Fungal infections* between toes. (The feet are the tools of my trade!)

* Doesn't affect my job and Dooreen's got me some Daktarin to put on after I wash my feet, Wednesday.

Ruth Kelly

2006-01-22T10:12:00.000Z

Woke up with a really bad head. Don't usually get hangovers these days like when I was young. Generally just a dull numbness. Working on the crossing usually clears it in the week.

Papers have a lot in about Ruth Kelly. Ultimately, she's my boss I suppose, although I'd feel happier if it were a man in charge. To give my thoughts, I think she's a not unattractive bird, and sometimes they're the worst ;-) when it counts! All in all, she has a charm about her.

Found a really unusual pair of pants on the floor. What they call a thong. Probably Doreen's although I haven't seen them before. They're uncomfortable to wear - after ten minutes they cut in. The thin bit soils easily which seems unhygienic.

Chicken for lunch. Few beers down the club first.

We need a snappy title

2006-01-21T18:58:00.000Z

Am thinking maybe we need a snappy or more exciting title. Suggestions so far:

Not just a Lollipop Man

Behind the Lollipop Man

Lollipop Man - Dark Horse

A Man in Uniform (with a Lollipop)

On second thoughts, maybe not. I want to retain the reference to my poetry.

Here's a cartoon:

Weekend off

2006-01-21T18:25:00.000Z

Obviously it's the weekend so I'm not working. Gives me time to do this anyway.

My hobby is writing poetry. Ideas often come to me whilst escorting the school kids across the road, bizarrely. It's like everything else disappears from my thoughts, although I should try to keep aware of the traffic.

Here's one of my poems:

"Chicken" - (That's the title).

A leaflet came through my door today.
It spoke of many things,
Like bananas on special offer
And half-price chicken thighs.

The local supermarket sent them out
Delivered with the post.
I couldn't help thinking it was useless junk mail,
(Whilst making a mental note of the chicken thighs bit).

Where were the lines I craved from you?
The perfumed pages that used to be,
Oft commencing "Dear Eric"
And ending "Much Love, J".

A leaflet came through my door today,
It showed so many lines on "special offer".
But more than that,
It highlighted the once special lines that came from you
Which sadly come no more.

Q.2. - Is the uniform free?

2006-01-21T18:09:00.000Z

The coat and hat (and 'lollipop') is supplied free, as is the training. The council trains you. Standby patrols are also trained to provide sickness and other absence cover at crossing points.

Question 1. Why did you want to be a L.P.M. (Lollipop Man)?

2006-01-21T17:16:00.000Z

Didn't have LPMs (lollipop men) when I was at school as far as I remember. Always admired people who do it. Unsung heroes in a way working their "patch" often on busy roads. Interesting job with a uniform and a danger element. Shouldn't take risks though. Kids can get to be a nuisance but that's part and parcel I suppose. Just realised LPM should really be LM as lollipop isn't 2 words. Looks better as LPM though...

Questions and Answers

2006-01-21T16:55:00.000Z

Doreen reckons a question and answer thing would be good for a blog about Lollipop Men (and women). Thinking up questions now. Not going to be restricted on only writing about the job.

According to the stats no-one's looked at this blog yet. Just as well I suppose as I'm still getting my head round it.

Hmm - Quite Impressive

2006-01-21T14:03:00.000Z

Going to have to try and think up stuff to write now! Things that are interesting obviously. Maybe "My life as a School Crossing Patrol Person" to give it the correct title. (Even women do it). Maybe post some tips and observations. I'll ask Doreen when she gets back from Tescos.

My "Blog"

2006-01-21T13:51:00.000Z

Never been one for diaries. (Don't really have much of a life to write about I suppose, apart from my job). Not been doing it long, but getting the hang. No-one run down yet anyway, which is a good thing!!